The Final Words
by Sweetman

My first memory of obituaries was hearing them called “the Irish Sports Page” by my grandfather. He wasn’t Irish but my grandmother was, which explains the black look he got when he asked her who made the Irish Sports Page. It was years before I somewhat understood the meaning of the term. Actually, I’m still not sure I get it: does it mean that Irish people turn to the obituaries the way other people seek out the sports section of the newspaper or does it mean Irish people regard dying like the rest of the world regard sports? I’ve never really got an answer despite my 75% Irish heritage gene pool.

Regardless of my personal mystification, yet possibly because of my ancestry, I’ve had an odd fascination with obituaries from a very young age. It’s not a fascination with death, mind you, it’s more with the final comments of a person’s life. I read obituaries. I love to read them, although most of the time they frustrate me because they say so little about the life they comment upon. Most obituaries are a few sentences of the deceased’s life in mini lists: accomplishments, those left behind, and the name of a charity or favorite cause to donate. The cause of death is almost never mentioned; instead there are usually oblique phrases like, “Died after a brief illness,” “Died suddenly” or “Died peacefully.” I used to assign the cause of death based on the nondescript phrasing. Words like sudden or unexpected usually meant something like a fatal heart attack or a car accident. Anything brief or battled meant cancer and peaceful had to be a well-loved, long-lived Granny or Granddaddy.

In my town’s local paper, most obituaries were half of a column, photo included. If the person was well-known or accomplished, it might have been two columns with a larger picture. Sadly, if it was a destitute loner, there was no picture and only a couple of lines mentioning the funeral arrangements. More than anything, the length of those obituaries inspired me to strive for greatness, I simply couldn’t imagine the final comment upon my life as one sentence with the time and place for my funeral mass.

Pretty dark fodder but if I thought I was alone in my fascination, I’d have kept it to myself. Fortunately (and do my great relief) there are a number of writers who are just as interested and happy to apply their talents to the final comments of those dearly departed. There are many compilation books of obituaries. I am somewhat relieved that I don’t have a room dedicated to the genre but I admit I can recommend a few.


The Very Best of the Daily Telegraph Books of Obituaries by Hugh Montgomery-Massingberd
Any of the Daily Telegraph Books of Obituaries collections are hilarious but, unfortunately, difficult to find in America, though good public libraries have a copy.

The Last Word the New York Times Book of Obituaries and Farewells: A Celebration of Unusual Lives, edited by Marvin Siegel
This collection is the most serious of my recommendations.

The Dead Beat: Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs, and the Perverse Pleasures of Obituaries by Marilyn Johnson
An interesting review of the art and history of obituary writing, Ms. Johnson writes about “The Golden Age of the Obituary” and its end with the decline of newspaper journalism.

52 McGs.: The Best Obituaries by Robert McG. Thomas
By no means the last book on this topic, this book by the legendary The New York Times reporter got me started when I picked it up at a yard sale several years ago just because it had “obituaries” in the title. I never heard of Robert McG. Thomas before but I knew you had to be a big deal to end up with an obituary in the Times (and yes, it’s a goal of mine). This is a fantastic book because each obituary is so well written, captivating, interesting, respectful and, occasionally,  hilarious. A well written obituary is the final story the captures the sum and substance of a life in a brief passage and is far more compelling than the sports page.
Elizabeth F. Sweetman is a writer on the North Shore of Massachusetts. She has written numerous short stories, essays, book reviews and is currently working on a novel. She lives with her family and when not writing, she enjoys beekeeping, bicycling, reading and pondering the odd behaviors of her two terriers. She writes under the name Sweetman. You can follow some of her writing on her Wordpress blog.