DAVID COMO
PIECES FOR MY BRAIN (OR, I LEFT MY HEART IN ALCATRAZ)
They have the sports station on at Dave’s, a little bar I found with Billie a few days ago. I’m looking up at the TV, drinking beer. Ty Cobb pops into my head and I remember that he used to sharpen his spikes. I was fascinated by him as a kid. I read a book back then, about a boy who had memorized every baseball statistic, and every pitch in every game, and he could repeat everything, like a radio broadcast. I remember being jealous of that kid, and I tried to be like him, reading about all the old baseball heroes. I’m sitting at Dave’s, and I realize I’d completely forgotten about Ty Cobb. Maybe other players and people gone from my mind, how would I know.
When Billie and I came the other afternoon the place was practically empty. Two old guys drinking and watching the Redskins game. They didn’t even look up. Billie ordered a sweet tea vodka and lemonade. The girl behind the bar was a bit of a bitch, but she smiled when Billie ordered. I guess she drinks it too. Billie had it for the first time the other day at a different place, Vesuvio’s - the bar where Jack Kerouac is supposed to have drank all night and skipped plans to meet Henry Miller. I wonder if that was the only time he drank there and they’ve just been selling that story since. When we went it was sweet tea vodka, special drink of the day, and Billie had two. I drank rye and took a couple pictures of her. After that, we walked into Chinatown and she bought earrings.
Tonight I’m sitting at Dave’s, alone. I was at the Giants game earlier, had a ticket for Billie but she’s with Don. And where is she now? Hidden in some dark corner on Alcatraz Island, or maybe somebody caught them. Might be at the police station. Or maybe they never went out to Alcatraz at all.
I’m at the end of the bar. It’s really crowded and I’m wishing I’d flown somewhere else. I had some money saved to take a trip, it was Billie who talked me into coming with her to California. She was born in San Francisco. Moved to Toronto with her mother after her dad was killed. He was protesting for Native rights at a big rally and got shot by the cops. Billie’s dad was Sioux. That’s how she met Don, on the internet, a group for Indians. He’s a Shoshone-Bannock. Her dad and Don’s grandfather knew each other back in the day. Billie’s been in touch with Don for a few months now, talked on the phone a few times. Decided she wanted to see San Francisco again.
The guy to my right at the bar nods at me, sloppy, says he can tell I’m not from around here. He asks what I’m planning on seeing. I tell him I might head to Salinas in the next couple days.
He swallows his drink.
“Why?”
“John Steinbeck’s house, I guess.”
He shakes his head, leans in closer and speaks low. “You’re white, buddy. Trust me, you don’t want to go into Salinas. Trust me.”
Chicanos, he says, gangs, Norteños. I kind of just zone-out listening to him. Maybe he’s right, but I’m worried he’s going to say something really messed up and the people around the bar will hear it and think I’m with him. I get the bartender’s attention. Same girl from the other day.
“No girlfriend tonight?” she asks.
“Just my friend actually … I met her way back.”
She wants to hear what I’m drinking. Kind of looks at me hard and I order another beer and a shot of bourbon. A minute or so and she’s back with the drinks.
“It was funny what your girl said the other day.”
“Well, she’s Indian, Sioux,” I say. “Washington playing, you know, the Redskins.”
Guy next to me leans in close again.
“A squaw? Lucky man, lucky. They’ll let you get away with a lot of shit, trust me.”
I down the shot and turn to that fucking guy beside me and ask, “Hey can you watch my beer for a second? I got to take a piss.” Smiling at him, like a buddy. There are countless guys like him, reaching out for a friend or a fight, not caring which. I get up and find my way to the restroom.
Billie and I have a room at the Pickwick Hotel on 5th Street. Says in the lobby that it was in The Maltese Falcon. Not sure if it was the movie or the book. Maybe both. The room is on the fourth floor. Has a nice window, television, two beds.
